Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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