im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
