Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
