marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
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