My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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