Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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