four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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