I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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