Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
