i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
