woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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