a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
