never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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