U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
