Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
