I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
