In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
