youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
40s are totally the cure
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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