she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
