so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm at about main and main street
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
