found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize