Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
