The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
