dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Even my vagina gasped.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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