No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
