She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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