Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
