My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
