she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize