lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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