He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
