I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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