i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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