Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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