So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
