Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
