that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
