You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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