He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
