at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
