After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
