Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
