Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
