I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
