Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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