I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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