After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
