Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
