I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
