Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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