I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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