oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So vagazzling was a success
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
