Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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