I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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