i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
