My room smells like vodka and shame
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
