flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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