I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
