one two three fourrrrnication!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
