wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
