Your dad touched me again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
