I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
