glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
