what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
