i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
