Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
