Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I supernannyed him into submission
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
