The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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