there was a trapeze. enough said
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
