I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
