Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
