Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
did i walk over a car last night?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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