I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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