I wannas sexs uuuuu
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
